Maybe Tomorrow

2009-06-28T01:23:00.000-07:00

From My Broken Heart To Yours

V1
I'm not gonna tell you don't cry, cos I know that it hurts
And you don't have to pretend that you're fine, when you're down in the dirt
But when you feel like letting go
Feels like theres nothing left to hold on to
Hold on..
To the one that does not change
To the one thing in life that remains the same
Hold on, just keep holding on

Chorus
If you're going through the heartbreaks of life, don't lose control
Cos itll only be a matter of time, where you'll see the glow, in all this
If you're going through the hardships of life, stay strong and fight
Just know that He's been with you all this time, and He's in control, of all this

V2
Theres always another side to this story untold
And someday you'll realise that you weren't that alone

One day soon,
A stronger you will sing this tune
Hold on..
To the one that does not change
To the one thing in life that remains the same
Hold on, just keep going on

Chorus
If you're going through the heartbreaks of life, don't lose control
Cos itll only be a matter of time, where you'll see the glow, in all this
If you're going through the hardships of life, stay strong and fight
Cos what you have left is more than enough, and He's in control, of all this

Bridge
Who holds the universe?
Who made the heavens and the earth?
Who took the weight of the world?
Who holds your world in His hands, who holds your world in His hands
Who holds your world in His hands

Indeed, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, He rescues those whose spirits are crushed."

2009-06-25T03:31:00.000-07:00

As a absolute lover of food, I believe that food has to be as good to look at as it is to eat. Although I'm supposed to be hitting the books during the hols, I have been in front of the screen more and more because of the suprise I'm planning for mommy on her birthday this Sunday! (; For being the BEST and the ONLY mommy, I'm more than happy to sacrifice my study time(like DUH)! As much as I prefer to take on the role of a taster and a critic, I think it's time to throw on a chef's hat and whip up something creative for mommy on her special day. (:

Hence, I've decided to do a kyaraben breakfast for her. NOTE: Kyaraben or charaben (キャラ弁), a shortened form of character bento (キャラクター弁当, kyarakutā bentō), is a style of elaborately arranged bento which features food decorated to look like people, characters from popular media, animals, and plants. Japanese homemakers often spend considerable time devising their children's meals including their boxed lunches, intended to arouse interest from children in their food and to encourage a wider range of eating habits. Now, I've taken up this challenge and I think I may be getting a wee bit of cold feet.

Like I said, it's breakfast but authentic kyaraben has rice in it. Do I do it the authentic way or substitute it for bread? What if the bread gets soggy (because I'm planning to put in steamed broccoli and other veg to perk it up)? And would mommy want rice bright and early in the morning? It won't cause indigestion or anything right???? RAHHHHH! I knew bentos were hard to do, but I never knew it was this hard ): And I haven't even got down to make it yet, it's just the planning part! HOWWWW????

Oh well. I better start cracking my brains and make a decision FAST. I need to get the ingredients too. :/

2009-06-23T01:24:00.000-07:00

Verse 1
Sinking sand, faltering feet
Rising waters, Lord I can't keep my stand
Can't keep my stand

Verse 2
Rising waves over me
Collapsing foundations, Oh Lord where do I stand
Where do I stand?

Bridge
Oh Lord, You said You're close to the brokenhearted
Rescuing those whose spirits are crushed
As Your people, Lord, we will face many trials
Yet time and time again, I'm reminded of Your Promise
That You'll rescue me

Chorus
Falling, know You're catching
Running, know You're guiding my feet
Soaring, as We take flight
Take me higher (as we take flight)

2009-03-19T06:55:00.001-07:00

ohkayyy. I'm feeling awfully bored now. Homework is calling out to me but I think I shall feign that I can't hear it. Procrastination! Haha! So my purpose here was to kill boredom as well as share with you guys some random facts about myself cos usually I just write about interesting events or just some thoughts. So here goes! (:

#1. When I eat, I tend to eat everything I have on my plate before drinking a sip of water/drink. Reason? I seriously cannot stand it when people drink while eating, especially when the drink's contained in a transparent bottle. Ohmygosh, it's like sooo gross when you see little bubbles of oil or some food particle floating in it. Like ewwww. :/

#2. Another random fact about FOOD. I CANNOT stand it when people don't finish their food. I'll start thinking about the children who go hungry everyday in Africa and feel awfully guilty. Well, let's just say my parents were effective in drilling that into me. HAHA! (:

#3. When I was in kindergarten, I had a best friend called Stephanie. Her dream to become an SIA air stewardess influenced to me want to become one too. Yeah, the mentality behind that was of course because of the girlish thinking that BFs have to be together FOREVER, like for eternity or smtg. Then, that dream died off but recently, it's been revived. If that's what you wanna call it. But then again, I'm not so sure :/

#4. When my sis and I were super young, we always watched power rangers. yeah, I know you're giving me the -.- face now. But Hey, not all girls ONLY watch 'Barbie and the diamond castle' or some other girly show okay? Anws, we were constantly quarreling about who to be the PINK power ranger. Ohkayy, I know you're probably grabbing your tummy and rolling on the floor, laughing. But seriously. And she always won cos she's older than me. So I was forced to take on the role of the YELLOW power ranger. Abuse of authority, I tell you. HAHA!

#5. I am TERRIFIED of lizards. I'd rather be sleeping in the same room with a cockroach than with a lizard. You can just smack a cockroach dead but if you try to smack a lizard, it's tail would come off unattached, like it wasn't even part of the entire lizard itself. Worse still, it'll start flipping around. So, lizards: DEAD or ALIVE? Dead. No doubt about that.

#6. Speaking about insects or creepy crawlies or whatever. What would you do when one of those stuff mentioned previously falls onto you? I'm talking to majority of girls, not you macho guys. Mostly you girls would go screaming like some damsel in distress saying, "Get it off me, get it off of me!" But uhuh, not me. This is what I'll do in an actual situation: I wouldn't be squeal, acream or what not. It's just not an instinct. Open my eyes wide to find anything I can get my hands on to smack that thing. If there's no newspaper, magazine or blah blah, I'll use my hand to flick it off, wait. I think whack it off is more like it. Like I'll get really violent. After a while, like a whole minute after the whole scenario, I'll be like "ohmygosh, that was so gross. Stupid bug. EWWWWWW!" It's like my macho-man side will show first before my girly girl side. Yes, there's a manly man inside every girly girl. I believe that with all my heart. (:

#7. I absolutely do not like it when people in large groups sing happy birthday to me. It's like I feel everyone's eyes burning through me and if you know me well, you'd know I do not like being in the limelight or whatsoever. I absolutely have no idea what to do during that entire antagonizing minute or two cos you're not supposed to sing cos you're the birthday girl. Speaking of birthdays, mine's coming right up. Now, I have to devise a plan on what to do while they sing. Any ideas, anyone? (:

#8. I love art. Pretty much in any form, be it a sketching or photography. I wanted to be an artist when I was real young. But mommy said no ): She said cannot earn money, and we're not even talking about huge sums, we're talking about like the basic for you to live with a roof over your head and food to eat. Come to think of it, I think it's quite true. Most of the artists are somewhat like that. It was only after they die that their works are able to sell for millions of dollars.

#9. Out of all that God created, I think the sky was the most AWESOME of His work. I love running in the morning in solitude when the sun's not up. And as I run, I'll look up into the sky. Mann, it never fails to take me breath away. It's even more wonderful at night. When all the stars look like little peep holes. I recently saw the Orion belt and the North star. Prettypretty. (: I wish to get married under the stars. Aww... how romantic. Only problem is that it's be so dark cos we'll have to get away from the city lights that the guests will prolly only be able to see a floating white dress. Creepy.

#10. I hope to start investing more time into songwriting soon! I've tried a few times but only one survived without being thrown out. That was when I was really touched by God during devos (short for devotional time) and the words just flowed out naturally. Only problem is I need people to give me input on improvisation cos I'm not that advanced in piano yet. I think a band would be great. Someone who majors in the keyboard, drums, bass, guitar. Nice.

Well, I guess that sums it all. Good night peeps! (:

2009-03-11T05:29:00.000-07:00

Hellllllooooooo lil' bloggy! (: Finally, I'm here to update after a gazillion years. Wellwell, sch's been indescribable lah. Good+Bad=? Good cos I've got AWESOME company plus ART which is getting so FUNFUNFUN but I'm graduating alrdy. I drew manymany portraits. Used to detest sketching faces but now I think I'm kinda addicted to it. (: Will scan in and upload when I have the time and remember to do so. Probability: 0.0000000000000000001% Unless a miracle happens or smtg. haha. Bad cos I realised how close mid-years are and I'm starting to feel nauseous. Yeah, no kidding. :/
Anws, today was PLTT had match against St. Nic's. We lost 4-1 but had lots of fun cheering! (: So I wouldn't say it was time wasted. Could feel quite a bit of the PL spirit mann! At least I know I was screaming my lungs out and till my head throbbed. Haha, how often do I get to do that huh? We grabbed boards recycled from last yr's badminton matches and used hollow shuttlecock tubes as clapper sticks. Everyone was like shouting "PL FIGHT BACK!" or " (insert name) steady" or "Go slow". The ultimate was "HAO QIU, SHA!" which means "good shot, kill(?)". Haha. LOVE CHEERING! It's a natural high! (:

Tmr's schedule gonna be pretty hectic. Normal lessons till 2pm. Class race heats at 3.30pm. Leave sch at 5.30pm and rush down to EXPO for conference. Home-sweet-home at only 11+? Well, think I better have an early night! (:

Sidenote: So lookingg forward to conference! WOOOOHOOOOOO! x)

2009-01-28T03:17:00.000-08:00

Bet you're wondering why I'm blogging again today. Yepp, blogging on consecutive days ain't the norm butbutbut, today's SPECIALLLL! Today, I'm feeling so SUNSHINEEEEEEEE HAPPYYYYYYY, all because of a big miracle that happened today! It may seem small to you all but it's a gigantic+enormous= GINORMOUS breakthrough for me. Tadaaaaa!((((((((: I could go on and on with the smiley and make it a mutiple-chinned smiley but I guess I'll spare you guys. x)

Well well, the day started off pretty bleak. Pard didn't come to school today. And I was sooo pathetically lonely. But on a brighter side, I paid more attention than I normally did, not that I don't listen during lessons. I was just MORE attentive. Period. Was dreading house meeting, kept glancing out the window, watching the primary kids skip out of school. Mann, I was so envious that they could go home at 12.30pm. Not that I dislike house meeting or anything, I'm a LOYAL ARCHER-ian ohkayy! Ask anyone. (: It's just that I've had some intimidating experiences. Headed to the gym to kill time. School ended at 2pm but house meeting only started at 3.30pm so yepp.

A couple of weeks ago, I was appointed level head for sec4/5. It was soo terrible. The attendance list was all chunked up together, all the classes, even last year's graduates were in the list. Imagine how chaotic it was! Messymessymessy. All of a sudden, someone shouted at me. It was a sec 5 I was unfamiliar with. Apparently, she was the girl everyone had warned me against, I didn't realise till later. She demanded the attendance list for me. She snatched it away from me and called me some hokkien vulgar word which is too inappropriate for me to mention. Woah, did I get a shock. No one had ever called me that, much less someone who didn't even know me well enough to judge me. Apparently, her name wasn't on the list, and she got crankier. But my mind was in too much a state of shock so I didn't say anything. Dumbfounded I was. At that moment, I wanted to dig up a hole and bury myself. Like seriously. On my way home that day, I was like in a sense, 'complaining' to God, pouring out all my woes. It was so frustrating. Unexpectedly, I started seeing her in a different point of view, looking past all her attitude and vulgaries. I started thinking stuff like, 'She must have a reason for being so defensive, I really don't think it's entirely her fault. From her looks, she looks like a real nice person.' Even I was shocked to hear my own thoughts, never in a million years could I have done it if not for God's grace that came upon me. From that day on, I kinda developed a phobia of house meeting. But at the same time, I kept praying for her, that God will use me as a vessel to show love to her and that bit by bit, God will remove all her hatred and heal her brokeness.

Well guess what? God came through for me today. She was extremely nice to me. When she passed the attendance list back to me, she said, "What's your name?" I tried to restrain the surge of shock and managed to say, "olivia". In the sweetest tone ever, she said,"Do you have the competitors namelist?" And I was like," Nope. But I'll help you check it out now." Apparently, there wasn't one so I asked if she participated in any event last year. But she couldn't remember. But I did help her to the best of my ability, so I was quite proud of myself. (:

Later on, I was asked to collect fine for those who weren't in archer shirt. When I came to her, I told her, "Hey, but could you help me collect the fine from your class for me?" She said," how much?" "1 dollar." "B******t" I said, "So sorry but yeah." The moment 'sorry' came out of my mouth, I only felt one thing- regret. I mean I didn't even do anything wrong! i was scolding myself in my head, "What's wrong with you?!' She exchanged a couple of words with her friends and later asked me to say they didn't have money to pay up. I was like, 'Alrighhtttttt.(in unsure tone)' As I moved on to collect the fine from other classes, I heard her say to her friend(if my ears heard rightly), "She's quite sweet(or was it 'nice') huh?" Her friend said something and then she was like, "She said sorry to me just now leh! Of course lah, she scared of me mah!" Happy feeling was gone. I was like, "Crap. Wrong move mann!" Oh well, it was a lil' slip of the tongue. But yeah, after today, I'm sure that underneath her intimidating appearance and attitude is a really really sweet person. (:

A total 180 degrees change in attidude. Isn't this a miracle or what? I can't tell you how my heart is overflowing with pure joy and how thankful I am to God!

Well, what can I say? I think I'm starting to see a whole new meaning of this year's theme for my church:

LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOUR

2009-01-27T06:13:00.000-08:00

Ohkay ohkay. UPDATE UPDATE! Mann, it's been quite hectic lately. Uhh, come to think of it, maybe it ain't that bad, but oh well I've just been pretty lazy to update my lil' bloggy and so yepp, it's growing moss. But oh well, I shall just make it quick. Laptop's bat is running out.
So, CNY celebration in school was awesomatedly FUNFUNFUN. The performances were GREAT, tons better than the the previous 3 years. :x I can't believe this is the first time Clara came for it. I had to practically FORCE her to come. Thank God that she's in class comm so she had to join me for the Bless The Community Project. If not for that, I don't think she'll even attend CNY throughout her four years in sec life. Oh mann, guzheng was especially entertaining. Woah, I had the sudden urge to take up guzheng after O's. I still have a wee bit of that urge. (: Clara, Eth, Charity, Sukanya and me went totally high. Well, actually the entire sec 4 cohort. We were like screaming and screaming cos of some competition among the levels. Cherades(?), just that it's in Chinese. HAHA!
Did quite some visiting on the first day of CNY. Woke up at 6.30am to go over Granny's house to help out with the cooking for guests cos Granny's leg was hurting pretty badly. Rushed home to change and off to mom's brother's house. Wasn't much to do there though cos we're closer to the cousins on Daddy's side. We only visit Mommy's side like twice to thrice a year so yeah. After that was off to grandaunt's house. Ate buffet for lunch. The brocoli was unusually sour. I thought they added lemon to the sauce to make it tastier so I gobbled it all done. When I was done, I heard grandaunty tell daddy not to eat the brocoli cos it had probably turned bad. And I was like 'What?! Ohmygosh. Why you never tell me earlier?!' Yepp, had a pretty bad tummyache last night.
Second day was so much better. People came to visit. Mommy's side. But cos we live quite near, we see them much more often so it was muchmuch better. G's got new hair. oli shock~ Haven't seen him in prolly 2 years, he doesn't really attend family functions so yepp. His hair is like Jap/Korean, dyed a lighter shade of brown, and a wee bit longish. Some people suit it, some don't but I guess it's alright. V's grown so much taller. He's my height already! (: He used to be bubbly and chatty but now he's sooo much quieter. Oh well, he's still friendly (: J and A are so cute as usual. Esp J, but he doesn't take much to me ): On the shy side I guess. For the rest of the day, I completed teachers' ang bao for us which unfortunately came in the form of tons of homework.
So, that pretty sums it all up. (; Sorry it's sooo rush but I gotta head to bed. Ayyeee, morning run tmr. Oh well, on the brighter side, we get to lose some weight from all those New Year goodies we've been gorging ourselves on (:
Nightnight, peeps!

2009-01-09T08:48:00.000-08:00

Ohmygosh. The Hanazawa Rui craze is back! x) Hanazawa Rui (from Japanese drama Hana Yori Dango) is my favourite character in the show. Purely in fictional sense :D, I simply adore this character, and not only for his dreamy good looks and elegant attire. He is loyal, well-read, deep, very perceptive and to add to all this plays a violin like a virtuoso. But of course of of the key things is that he is permanently dressed in white which colour suits him amazingly well. And his hair in that drama is like trademark. Mel, Jean and me ADORE this character. We made a whole lot of noise in class today talking about him. And my plan to revise chinese was screwed :/ But oh well, I shall forgive myself. He is like <33333!!! But apparently, rachel thinks he looks like a Shih Tzu + a giraffe. I don't see why. She says we have a weird taste. The Japanese version beats Taiwanese and Korean version hands down. Even Mel admits so, despite the fact that she loves anything Korean. And another key thing is that Oguri Shun makes angst to be breathtakingly beautiful.
I was like sooo annoyed when Makino (female lead) chose Tsukushi(male lead) instead of Rui. I can't understand how a girl can chose a rude and violent guy over a nice and sensitive guy. I mean it's like "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" Maybe, you'll say I'm biased but oh well. I like this sort of guys. Loyal, deep, perspective, a slight introvert and who plays some sort of musical instrument. Wow.
Alright, alright. This whole post was just plain random. But ayyeeee, it was just a sudden urge. So pardon me. (: So I shall just leave you some pictures of him. (((:

Now tell me, in what way does he look like a shih tzu + giraffe? But everyone's entitled to their own opinion so yepp. (:

A Look Back At 2008

2008-12-31T05:22:00.000-08:00

31 December- The last day of 2008. Before I know it, I'm taken back to the 1st of January 2008. This past year, so many things have happened, So many things I don't wish to remember. No matter how much I want to look on the brighter side of life, I can't help but feel like this year's the roughest year I've ever been through.

The sky burns with a brilliance, as it turns from a soft blue to a magnificent orange with a tinge of pink. Looking towards the west, I stare at the waves. I am in awe of the hpnotic power of the waves. A giant curl begins to take form, like a giant clasping hand, reaching out to grab me. I resist the urge to run away. The wave breaks with a thundering clap as it crashes on the shore. The bubbling foam quickly recedes to the power of the surf. Suddenly, a piece of driftwood washed onto the shore. It has an odd, twisted shape. The wood is pitted, yet smoothed and bleached from its time in the sun. I bend down to pick it up. As my fingers begin to reach out, the water catches hold of it and drags it out to the sea. For a moment, it looks as if the wood is struggling to stay ashore. It leaves a trail behind before reaching deeper waters, where it bobs violently before giving in to the ocean.This year has been somewhat like the violent waters and I feel like the driftwood. So many things I wish I didn't have to know, so many territories I wished I had left untreaded.

I don't understand, how one person can give you advice in handling your own life for so many years,and all along you've grown up listening to what she said. And one day, you realise she's not as good as you think she is, and her life's in more of a wreck then you can imagine. To think she was someone I looked up to.

I look around, and see the people I love leaving. I know they have a calling in a place that's not here, but saying goodbye's hard. I wish I could turn back time, I wish I had treasured the moments with them.

I try so hard to make the cut. I've put in more effort than I've ever had before. But still, the results turn out disappointing, even worse than when I didn't give my all.

It's only a couple more hours before we enter 2009. A wave of relief washes over me. A new year, a new beginning. I feel so happyyyyy! (: It's like getting a whole new clean sheet of paper. All the mistakes and smudges of the previous paper ain't gonna show anymore. I anticipate the new year. But this anticipation comes with a slight tinge of uneasiness. I wonder what the new year will be like, what will the major events be about, will next year be more good than bad, how many new friends will I make? My mind's filled with a gazillion questions. But, I guess I'll never really live out the new year to its MAXXIEST MAX until I take the leap huh? So, what are we waiting for (other than for the clock to strike twelve)?

HERE'S TO 2009!

HERE'S TO DEAR DOCTORS! <3

2008-12-27T06:02:00.000-08:00

Been watching CODE BLUE lately. Although I'm not a great fan of gruesome blood-spilling scenes, I've got to admit that this show is AWESOME. Usually, I shun any 'bloody' show cos if it doesn't make me feel nauseous, I end up pretty much in tears. So yeah, although I love the magnanimous thought of saving lives, I don't think I can last long in this line. But, the fact that I have survived half the entire series (11 ep- great for those who are looking for a good short drama before school reopens), shows that this show is worth the watch.

SYNOPSIS:
If it can be treated one second earlier, the heart might start beating again.
If there is one extra helicopter, another life in danger may be saved.
If one more life can be saved, the Japanese medical community may regain trust.
There are more lives in this country that can be saved.

The "Doctor Helicopter" system was legalized in Japan in June 2007. A medical team is dispatched to the patients on a helicopter to provide medical care in the field as soon as possible. One day, four young physicians are assigned to this latest medical system. The doctors experience traumatic medical situations, deal with personal ambitions, witness the fragility of life, and they grow personally and professionally. --Fuji TV

Well, watching this show, has really made my heart overflow with gratefulness and gratitude towards doctors all over the world. No doubt society owes a debt of gratitude to doctors for their contributions in enlarging the reservoir of scientific knowledge, increasing the number of scientific tools, expanding the ability of professionals to use the knowledge and tools effectively in the never ending fight against disease and death, and for their sympathy and compassion in administering the sick and alleviating human suffering.

TO ALL DOCTORS:
Thank you for every bead of sweat you've shed while saving lives. Thank you for never giving up on saving lives till the patient's last breath, despite the odds. Thank you for saving so many from the pain of losing their loved ones. Thank you for every tear that has rolled down your cheek at the loss of a patient. Yes, if you were to look back at your life as a doctor, you'll be sure to find a vast majority of patients grateful to you, who have a great deal of respect and regard for you- for the sympathy with which you look after them or their near and dear ones. In this day, hour and second, many are able to walk on the face of this earth, their hearts able to beat. Why? It's because of you, and of course, the grace of God upon their fragile lives. Your God-given ability to comfort and heal means so much. Your dedication really makes a difference in the lives of others. Here's to honouring you for your skill and commitment in saving lives. May God's hand continue to be with you throughout your journey. Whenever you get discouraged, I pray that you will take heart and remember that God sees all the hard work you put in. You give patients another tomorrow. What can I say, you are truly God's specially created HOPE-GIVER!

*To watch CODE BLUE: http://www.mysoju.com/code-blue/

2008-12-25T07:43:00.001-08:00

Almighty God, the great I am
Immovable rock, omnipotent, powerful, awesome Lord
Victorious warrior, commanding King of Kings
Mighty conqueror, and the only time
the only time I ever saw Him run

CHORUS:
Was when He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left home I knew I’d broken His heart
And I wondered then if things could ever be the same
Then one night I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road ahead I could see
It was the only time – it was the only time I ever saw Him run

And then He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise as He brought me to my knees
When God ran – I saw Him run to me

BRIDGE:
I was so ashamed, all alone and so far away
But now I know He’s been waiting for this day

I saw Him run to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice I felt His love for me again

He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said, “Son”, He called me Son
He said, “Son do you know I still love you?”
He ran to me and then I ran to Him
When God ran

2008-11-22T06:19:00.000-08:00

Headed for family chalet '08 from tues-fri. Planned to stay two nights, but changed our minds cos it wasn't very comfy. Too many overnight-ers. Woke up with a sore shoulder and huge eyebags. Yepp, decided that beauty sleep was more important (: Cousins, uncles, aunties crashed the place. Distant relatives, so not really close. Pretty fun hanging out with the little kids though. Seriously, they're really huggable. (: They LOVEEE hugs. They come up to you and hug you from the behind. So sweet right? (: The bungalow's really awesome. Pretty great view, with it by the beach. Yepp, kinda sounds like my dream home. But unfortunately, it ain't the cleanest, smtg like east coast? You get the picture. But I guess it's tolerable. It's really hard to get this place, only people working for SAF and RSAF get to book the place. They even have a sign that says, " SAF PROPERTY. TRESPASSERS WILL BE PROSECUTED."
Cool huh? (;

The pictures tell the story. Need I say more? (:

Train-ed down to EXPO for Asia Conference ytd with Val, Eth and Andrea! :D Wasted quite a bit of time walking to and fro. And it wasn't because we got lost. There was some malfunction. Shall not mention what. But, only ended up attending the 'Coping With Depression' module. No vacancies for other modules. Wanted to attend 'Art of Leading worship' or 'Songwriting' sooo badly. And the other audiences (excluding me and company) and the psychiatrist giving the talk were -. They laughed a the littlest bit. We were like 'Huh? Did you get the joke?' I barely laughed, it was like straight face mostly. or more like LOST face. But after a while, I thought I'd better laugh cos we were sitting soo front, I was afraid the psychiatrist would point me out and ask me if I was suffering from depression. Boy, can my imagination run wild. It was alright after a while :D Oh well, everything worked out pretty well. Learnt some valuable stuff.

Left during dinner break. Train-ed down to Bishan cos Andrea had gymnastics. Walked quite a distance from J8 to bishan stadium. Had to cross a field. We were walking and walking when all of a sudden val said,"I hear a frog!" I only heard, "...FROG!" cos eth was talking to me and all of us freaked. One person scream and the rest got shocked and screamed. HAHA! FUNNY!

At gym, saw the coach really stretching the girls mann. Stepped on their thighs to an oversplit position. This girl was like close to tears man. I could literally feel her pain. OUCH. Headed back to J8. Window-shopped quite a bit. Saw a few stuff I liked but decided not to waste money. Sigh. But now, I feel like going back. ): Anws, had lots of fun with eth, andrea and val. Outing again, soon alrighty! LOVEYOUALL, MIGHTYLOTS! <3

2008-11-22T02:16:00.000-08:00

New blogskin. BUT, I have no idea how to change the playlist. Bleh, it's alright. I guess I'll do it tomorrow.
Later. (:

2008-10-22T04:18:00.000-07:00

Oh Yayy! It's raining! (: Gave school a miss today. Throat was a killer this morning. Like a thousand needles piercing. Not exactly the nicest thing to feel bright and early on my favourite day of the week aye? But come to think of it, I don't think I should have, huh? I forgot that it's the last 2 days of school. Ayeee, should have gone.

Aye, anws, it's been FUNFUNFUN to the maxxiest MAX going to school past few days! Really enjoyed the carving lessons! Like seriously. BEST mann! Wait. I think that was the only thing I looked forward to. HAHA! But, it's the friends around me that make my day and that make school a whole lot better! Like Elizabeth, Clara, Mel, Tricia and the list goes on and on. WoW! They make my day, like seriously! They make me laugh till my tummy hurts. (:

Oh. I remember a few days ago, tricia was like stealing bites at a whole box full of MILO cereal in class. And I was reading my really nice nice Left Behind book when all of a sudden, little round balls flew everywhere. Some even landed in between my book. It was quite a sight, I tell you! :D Apparently, she held the wrong side of the box and flipped it up. So FUNNEH! xD And she has vowed never to eat in class again. oh, what she really means is never to eat MILO cereal in class again. The rest is well, still acceptional. -.-

Ohkayy... my main purpose of blogging today was to post pictures of SENTOSA outing with the awesomes like 3 weeks ago? Yeah, that's really long ago right. Hahah, well pardon me. (: I'm not much of a blogger. There wasn't a wee bit of sun that day, so didn't get to tan much. Sigh. But not to worry, we'll be going again and it will be hard core tanning! Ohkayy, I shall just let the photos do the talking aye? (: Bye, world.

2008-08-15T04:27:00.000-07:00

Tadaaaa! I'm updating like FINALLY! After a gazillion years! CTs just ended today, so yayy me! But but but but, EOYs coming up. AWWWW.... ): What a killjoy. But who cares?- at this present moment, NOT ME. I need to DEstress. Can't wait to go sentosa soon to play volley. I LOVE VOLLEY! But, it seems that I can only play well when I partner up with clara. She left right after a math test cos she had piano exam. And I was all alone for P.E so I just joined Adeline and Elizabeth. And I don't know what exactly went wrong with me cos I kept serving wrongly. Usually, my serve's not that bad. But still, I receive pretty well so I'm proud of myself! ((:

Oh. Did I tell mention, that I actually forgot to bring my calculator to school today and I had A math test? Best right? Tsk. Can't imagine I actually did that. When I woke up to do a number of questions this morning, I kinda had this gut feeling that I would forget my calculator and I made a mental note to keep it in my bag butbutbut, I forgot it and only discovered it just before assembly started. Can you imagine how FREAKED I was when I realised I didn't have a calculator? Ohmygosh. But thank God for Clara cos she actually brought an extra so she lent it to me. Such an angel right? (: Thanks, clara! Ohohoh. I had a really really terrible night last night cos I kept dreaming that I was doing like an unending pile of a math questions. It was a terrible, absolutely horrible nightmare. It was like my mind's soo soo soo tired but it just kept working on the questions. And my head was pounding and spinning like mad. Well, this is what you get for doing a math for 6 hours straight.

Right now, I'm so tired. But I can't sleep now. Gotta head for chinese tuition which only ends at 10pm. Oh man. what a killjoy. Just after CTs. Man, I need a break! :/

2008-07-08T04:28:00.000-07:00

A little boy of thirteen
Was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
And he went to take a look
Thousands were listening
To the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom
Even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly
The day turned to night
Everyone was hungry
But there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
At the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do
There were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child
He said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you willI surrender
Take my fears, my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
When I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do
Means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry
Is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears, inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you willI surrender
Take my fears, inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
No gift is too small

2008-06-11T07:42:00.000-07:00

Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Lead me, lead me to the cross

You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You are
The word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen

To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart

2008-06-05T07:20:00.000-07:00

I don't know what I'm feeling now. I just feel I need somewhere to pen some thoughts down. My heart feels trapped (?) I don't know, I feel sad, just really sad. oh gosh, why are there tears now? Oh God, help me.

Recently, everywhere I turn, I see someone hurting. Somebody dies, somebody cries. I see parents fighting, how they don't know it's their children who they leave broken. How they only think about themselves, never really trying to save their marriage, for the better of their children who they claim they love most. Why? Did they not mean it when they stood before God and men, and said 'I do'? Did they forget their vow? What does the ring represent then? Girls looking for love, trusting so simply when guys tell them 'You're beautiful, I love you'. Giving up on ever finding the one got God chose for them. Not realising how they are more precious than jewels and deserve a prince and not just the first frog that comes along. Just to fit in, just to gain acceptance, what are they willing to do? You know as well as I do, take drugs, steal, anything. Why? Just to be the same as the rest? What happened to being special? What happened to 'I don't need their approval, I only need God's'? Why do so many chose to go their own way? God freely gives love and acceptance. Yet, why do we throw away the light, just so we can grope our way through the dark again? He paid such a high price for us. Sending His only Son, so precious, so dear to His heart just to die for us. He lived to die.

People ask 'if God truly loved us, why is there so much suffering, so much poverty?', 'If God really cared, why did this happen to me?' What can I say? I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government, to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How then, can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?

I've been thinking a lot these days, and I think it's beginning to hit me. My heart aches more and more. For the people and how God is so sad too. Everytime it rains, I look to the sky. I wonder, 'God, are you crying too? Are you hurting?' And somehow, I feel He is. I wish I could meet God now and tell him everything.

Oh Lord, I have so much to tell you.

P.S No, I'm not talking to or about anyone in particular. I 've been looking around, observing people etc. So yeah.

2008-05-08T05:57:00.000-07:00

UPDATE! ;D
After 987653455679834567076543345 years!
Whooooppeeee!!

CTs are finally over!!!
WOOOOHHHHOOOOOOO!
Ohmygosh, I tell you CTs are really killers mann!
It's like once the school bell rings, I'll grab my bag and dash down to the bus stop to catch the 2pm bus.
Why? To go home and study. -.-
Eat lunch, bathe and start the study marathon.
Sit there for 6+hours straight.
When it comes to dinner, its like left hand spoon food into my mouth, right hand do maths.
If not it's eat finish in 5 min and continue studying.
Thank God it's over, for this term that is ):

The night before A math was the worst.
I practised and practised till 12++ and then woke up and like 5am to continue.
And, I didn't sleep well at all.
Throughout the whole night, I dreamt about doing A math and my poor head was throbbing like mad.
Worse, I don't know why but I dreamt about WGL!
And please, she's not even my a math teacher!
But she did set the paper, so that's probably why.
Nightmares much?

A math was the last paper, so I came back from sch like a happy freak!
Yeah, for the first time all I cared about was getting over and done with the papers and didn't really care about other ppl's answers.
Right then right lor, wrong then wrong lor.
Anws, it's over alrdy, I cant do anything abt it.
But, when I reached home, and walked into the kitchen, ohmygosh... something scary happened.
All of a sudden, my legs went numb and I blacked out.
Next thing I knew, I was on the floor.
I didn't really faint but I was like suuppperrr dizzy.
Jie says its bcos I'm tooo tired.
I think so too.
You'd think I'll sleep early but I didn't.
I stayed up till 12+ to watch movie.
Lol!

So yes, I guess I better head to bed now.
Time check: 9:17pm
It's gonna be an early night! (:

P.S You peeps don't stay up too late aye? <3

2008-04-18T22:49:00.000-07:00

I'm closer to the edge now

I'm falling off the cracks of my sin

These scars they do not heal so fast

And the pain is filling slowly to the brim

I look up for an answer

I look down at my fears

The weight is getting stronger

And my will begins to slowly disappear

But when I am wounded, i'll fight on

Cos when you were wounded, you fought on

When my senses fail me, I trust you

When my heart grows weak, I trust you

When I walk through the battlefield, I trust you

I trust you, I trust you

You promised me you'll never leave

You promised you would stay

So however far you may seem to be

I know that you are with me all the way

Cos even the darkness

I see traces of you

These traces I will look to

I'll follow through and when I am weary, I'll hold on

Cos when you were weary, you held on

When my foes they surround me, I trust you

When the path ahead I cannot see, I trust you

In the midst of the raging seas, I trust you

I trust you, I trust you

You turn my valley of tears, to a place of springs

My endless fears, to You this song I'll sing

Some rely on their strength, but I rely on you

I put my hope in you, my only hope,

My only hiding place, my only joy,

My only love, my only everything

Hold on, cos i'm falling, i'm falling down

Hold on, cos i'm falling, dont let me

Dont let me fall down, hold on

Hold on, Hold on

-Traces of You written by Ben

2008-03-26T04:29:00.001-07:00

Grace and Mercy flowing freely from the throne,

And as I sleep, He sings to me in a gentle tone.

He is my father, the greatest king that i know.

And I thank Him for His love

My salvation and my King deserve my praise.

The God almighty who loves me and did not hide His face.

He walked the road and He carried my cross.

He laid His life, and He died to save the lost.

He had no beauty, or majesty

A man of sorrow and familiar with suffering.

God struck His son, for me, for me.

What have I done to deserve love like this?

A son of God, My guilt offering

Nailed to the cross and stripped for all to see.

God crushed His son, for me for me.

Though no deceit was found in His mouth,

this righteous man died on the cross to set me free.

I heard this song on Good Friday, during Sanctification Week. It's written by Isaiah from FCBC Youthnet. No doubt this song is God-inspired. When I clossed my eyes and thought about the lyrics, tears just started flowing. I know I can never really put to words the pain the Jesus, and the Father went through just for me, but this really gives me a clearer picture, of the agony, the ultimate sacrifice that had to be made.

'Can we really see the lost in your eyes Lord? Let me ache everytime I see the those who are hurting, help me understand their pain.

2008-02-03T00:29:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! (: I want Havaianas 2007 Flash Urban [WHITE](refer to picture below) - SGD39.90. Yeah. I know it's kinda expensive. But it doesn't have to come from only one person. I don't mind if a few of you buy this. It's really the thought that counts. Even if each of you ends up paying only $3, I don't mind (: You can buy it from VIVO- New Urban Male. Yupps. Tell me if you want to buy this for my birthday and I'll give you my size. (Sorry Ethel, I changed my mind. I dare not buy the cardigan cos I'm not sure if the measurements are accurate.)

2008-01-14T04:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I came to know about something that I wished I hadn't known.
Somebody I always looked up to had made the wrong decision.
Somebody who had been the one who always adviced me had disregarded her own advice.
At that that very moment that the truth hit me, so many thoughts that I thought would be forever at the back of my mind surfaced.
So many emotions stirred in my heart, it confused me.
I could neither sort out my feelings nor my thoughts.
It came in such a huge load, I felt I was nearly suffocating.

I gazed out of the window and watched pellets of rain beat against the glass windows of cars and houses as I replayed everything that had just heard.
No matter how many times I had hit the rewind button, it just didn't make any sense.
Almost every person I saw walking down the lane were carrying an umbrella or under some shelter.
At that moment, the raindrops falling from the sky didn't seem like raindrops at all.
Somebody was crying, somebody was so sad at all the wrong choices people were making, how everybody had put Him in a box and forgotten all about him.
The raindrops were like the tears of God.
For the first time, I could feel the exact pain God felt when He sees us, the people He loves so dearly, make wrong choices.
It was as if somebody had taken my heart in his hand and squeezed it so tightly, I wasn't sure if my heart was beating anymore.
He longs to get to us and help us get back on the right track again but all His 'tears' just pelt against our glassy hearts, unable to reach the innermost depths of us.
He tries again and again, sending us messages along the way but we just choose to ignore it and go along with the crowd.
It's just so easy to travel the broad road with everybody else instead of the straight and narrow paths alone, isn't it?
When He finally sends us a big 'BAM' along our way to prevent us from falling any deeper into the pit, we blame Him for the state He caused us to be in.
But did you ever think again?
Who was the one who had made the decision to start on the wrong path?
Why is it that we always blame God for all the bad stuff that happens to us and give ourselves all the credit when good things happen?

If you feel God speaking to you right at this moment, I hope you'll think again before making the decision to start on the wrong path. If you are already on the wrong path, don't let yourself go any further. Make that detour back onto the right path, it's never too late.

2008-01-05T06:15:00.000-08:00

Every human is unique. Each having different mindsets, attitudes, characters, perceptions, environments.. We create conflict, for we dont understand each other, we dont understand how another can think so differently from ourselves. Thus we harbour much bitterness to each other, most of the time judging others for their wrong doings. But who are we judging? when we're sinners all the same, and clinging to the grace of God. Who are we judging when we all fall short when we face the true judge Himself. Yes, we must correct the sin and the wrong in this world, but we must remember to condemn the sin and not the sinner.. Have you been in a situation where youve been completely wronged by someone, when you yourself did nothing wrong? Well its probably an incy bit (too small to describe) of what Jesus when through. Did NOTHING wrong, yet completely hated by the world he came to save.. It isnt easy, learning to love like He did.

It may not even seem right
I didnt even put up a fight
Craziness it seems
But deep in me a memory

Of a man who did nothing but right
And still he did not put up a fight
And Im hoping you will see
I'm here to be your friend, not your enemy

Yes I can sit here and judge
Condemn you of your wrong
But who am I to point a finger?
When the debt of my sin still lingers
And I'll take blow after blow
Just for the hope that you one day know
That you'll turn around
And receive this grace that I found

I was about to strike back
When a voice it stopped me on my tracks
It said, "Do you remember? Do you remember?"

"How you once bore a penalty,
How undeservingly you were set free,
How your chains were ridden,
How your debts were forgotten?"

Yes, I can sit here and judge
Condemn you of your wrong
But who am I to point a finger?
When the debt of my sin still lingers
And I'll take blow after blow
Just for the hope that you one day know
That you'll turn around
And receive this grace that I found

And we don't know if its you or me to blame
But whose to say when were guilty all the same
It aint easy...Loving like He did

We strive in vain to see who gets more
But my friend, we're all sinners after all
It aint easy...
Loving like He did

You've struck my right, now here's my left to you
All I wish is that you'll see right through
It aint easy...
Loving like He did

Post and song written by Ben

2008-01-04T03:16:00.000-08:00

Was clearing some photos from my files when I came across these.
When I went through those photos, all the memories from the past two years came flowing back.
And yeah, it was simply overwhelming.
Now, I've come to realise what they mean by "You won't learn to appreciate it until the day you lose it".
I miss so many people.
Their lame jokes that simply annoyed me,
The heart to heart talks we shared over the phone,
Their laughters that I still remember so clearly.
Most of all, I miss the EC concerts we had in the back of our class. :)
Memories.
All those friendships I forged over the last two years will be forever etched in my heart. <3

2007-12-31T22:00:00.000-08:00

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! :D
Oh gosh!

Last night's countdown was a total BLAST!

AWESOMATED MANN!

Loved the worship, jumping and dancing.

PURE JOY.

It's sad that the people I invited couldn't make it.

Enjoyed the performances by Ps Khong and little Isaac.

Adorableadorableadorable! x)

Suprise act- Jessica Liu, bad woman in kinship(can't remembr her name) and another artiste came up to gave testimony.

And ethel almost killed me with questions when I told her Jessica Liu was at the countdown.

She self-proclaimed that Jessica Liu is her BEST FRIEND. right-o -.-

Anws, these are just some of the questions she asked.

Eth: What did she say?

Me: Some thanksgivings to God for blessing her this year....

Eth: What did she say?

Me: Aiyo... How can I remember everything?!

And she bugs me again and again...

I try to change the subject but she always comes back to the topic.

Eth: What did she wear? -.-

Me: Purple blouse with jeans.

Eth: What kind? You mean those plain plain one? -.-

Me: No lah. Quite nice one.

Tell me about DESPERATE.

Eth: Where are you?

Me: On the train.

Eth: You alone or what?

Me: Uh... with my parents.

Eth: Eh eh eh! Let me talk to them!

Me: Huh? Why?

Eth: Just let me talk to them lah!

And so I passed my phone to my dad and they chatted like for 3 min.

Wishing each other Happy New Year and stuff.

And they don't even know each other.

Dad passed phone back to me.

Eth: Eh! Your dad very cool leh.

Me: HAHA! *No, I'm not being sacarstic. (:

After hanging up, my dad tells me that ethel is very brave and confident.

HAHA! Somehow, I can't agree more.

She really is like the COOLEST of the COOLEST friends I've ever had.

You know something?

She inspired me to start fasting again.

That very day we baked cookies for church mates.

She really is an AWESOMATED sister in Christ.

Ethel; I bet you're smiling goofily to yourself right at this moment! :) I'm going to miss you like BUCKETLOADS,TANKLOADS and TRUCKLOADS! <3>

2007-12-14T20:58:00.000-08:00

Hi guys.
Just wanted to post something I found on D2's blog.
It all started when 'someone' called.
She's going through some really tough times and she really had a lot of questions.
I was really praying and asking God to give me the words that He wanted her to hear.
And well, when I read this post, I felt like it spoke exactly what I was feeling inside.
This post actually gave me the courage to call 'someone' again to comfort(if that's the right word) her.

I was listening to a song called happy ending by Mika. It's really nice and i enjoyed it alot. The thing that really impacted me in this song is the message and how the song is played out..The song is about a guy who's just broken up with his girlfriend. Normally i wld not really go for these songs but how the lyrics works out really touches me. He really pours out alot of feelings into the song and he describes them really really well.

This is the way you left me,
I’m not pretending,
No hope, no love, no glory,
No happy ending

This is the way that we love,
Like its forever,
Then live the rest of our life,
Both not together

Wake up in the morning,
Stumble on my life,
Can’t get no love without sacrifice,
If anything should happen,
I guess I wish you well,
Mmm a little bit of heaven,
But a little bit of hell

This is the hardest story,
that I have ever told,
No hope, or love, or glory,
Happy endings gone forever more
I feel as if I’m wasting,
And I waste every day

And what really hit me alot is the middle of the song where the chorus is played out in a crescendo of voices..and what really just made me think is the amount of voices that were in the chorus. There are people out here in the world who are crying out, be it on the inside or outside, really badly. There are people who NEED alot of love and warmth that they try to but just can't seem to find. There are so many people out there who really need just one helping hand, just one direction, just one smile or a word of life. What i really thought hard is- Who's gonna help these people? They're on their knees, so heartbroken, so heartsick, so dead on the inside and really need help, but everyone just passes them by. What's going to help these people in this time, when they're so dead?That's when the next verse came in..and it said,"A little bit of love."And in the same way, it gradually rose and became a choir of voices..and it really hit me that hey, it's us who are called to do so. It's us who have love, love from Above, love from God. We have that love..and we can just give that little love to them and we can help them find such a great future, such great warmth and kindness.The song really made me and reminded me of those out there who need God. And it really made me think, "Billy, are you doing all you are to give that little bit of love?"

I replied, "I'll try." Let's try our best to bring God into their lives yeah? There's another crescendo of voices rising against the wall of depressed, sick, tired souls who are able to speak life and rewaken the spirit inside these lost people..Let us be those voices who can speak life into them. So many , SO many people need God..can't we try a little harder?I dont know if this made sense but i really felt like i had to post it..yeah.
-Billy.

To 'someone';
I can't tell you all the answers and maybe you won't be able to find all these answers here on earth but what I can tell you is no matter what, there will always be people who love and treasure you. Sure, not everyone will, but at least one person would. And right here, I want to say that I'm willing to be that one person. I love you, as a friend and a sister in Christ.

Sometimes, the best comfort you can give isn't words, but to just be there by her side and hear her out.

2007-11-20T01:12:00.000-08:00

Hey guys. (:
I'm blogging again. FINALLY.
This is a really really long post.
Take your time to read it cos this will be the last time I'm blogging until after 3 Dec.
Unless I'm so depressed until I have to blog.
Will be away from 26 Nov-3 Dec.
You all take care alright?
Oh. And keep my tagboard alive.

Joseph's story teaches us to not to give up on our dreams when life isn't working out the way we planned. He trusted "the Lord who was with him". There's a lovely saying that goes:-
God is too good to be unkind.
God is too wise to be confused.
When I cannot trace His hand,
I can always trust His heart.

How is your trust in God? Is it a Limited Trust-only for a time and a season? Or a Partial trust-only for emergencies and exigencies of the moment? Or a Revocable trust-to be withdrawn when your agenda is not served?

I pray we are able to trust the Lord "with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding"(Proverbs 3:5) We can trust God wholeheartedly simply because HE IS GOD- Faithful God(Deuteronomy 7:9) who keeps His covenant of love with us and delivers on every promise He makes(Psalm 145:13) He's not only the Dream Giver but the Dream Fulfiller!

Is this the God you trust?

It turns out that a scientist can see the future by watching four-year-olds interact with marshmallow. The researcher invites the children, one by one, into a plain room and begins the gentle torment. "You can have this marshmallow right now," he says. "But if you wait while I run an errand, you can have two marshmallows when I get back." And then he leaves.
Some children grab the treat the minute he's out the door. Some last a few minutes before they give in. But others are determined to wait. They cover their eyes; they put their heads down; they sing to themselves; they try to play games or even fall asleep. When the researcher returns, he gives these children their hard-earned marshmallows. And then, science waits for them to grow up.

By the time the children reach high school, something remarkable has happened. A survey of the children's parents and teachers found that those who as four-year-olds had fortitude to hold out for the second marshmallow generally grew up to be better adjusted, more popular, adventurous, confident dependable teenagers. The children who gave in to temptation early on were more likely to be lonely, easily frustrated and stubborn. They buckled under stress and shield away from challenges.

Of course, the moral of the story is that developing character is necessary to delay gratification in small areas can translate into great success in other areas. But the four-year-olds in the study didn't know that. They didn't resist the marshmallow in hopes of getting better grades in high school. They overcame their urge to eat the marshmallow because they had faith-- they could envision the moment when the nice man in the white coat would come back with two marshmallows. They persevered because they trusted.

This story really encourages me. Sometimes as I wait on God's timing for romance, I go through the same internal struggle those kids must have endured. Like a marshmallow beckoning the child to eat its sweet fluffiness, dating is calling my name. And let me tell you, it looks good.

Why don't I snatch it up? Why shouldn't you? Because God has promised something better. He provides something better now as we take advantage of the unique opportunities of singleness, and He'll provide something better later when we enter into marriage. But we must have faith to believe it. Like those little children, we're left alone with something better that we think could satisfy us immediately. And we can't see the reward of delaying our gratification.

It gets down to this question: Do you trust God? Don't just give a knee-jerk, Sunday school answer. Do you really trust Him? Do you live your life as if you trust Him? Do you believe that by passing up something good now because it's the wrong time, God will bring you something better when it is the right time?

We are asked to leave the planning to God. God's ultimate plan is far beyond our imaginings as the oak tree is from the acorn's imaginings. The acorn does what is was made to do, without pestering its Maker with questions about when and how and why. We who have been given an intelligence and a will and a whole range of wants that can be set against the divine Pattern for Good are asked to believe Him. We are given the chance to trust Him when He says to us,"...If any man will let himself be lost for my sake, he will find his true self."

When will we find it? we ask. The answer is, Trust Me.
How will we find it? The answer again is, Trust Me.
Why must I let myself be lost? we persist. The answer is, Look at the acorn and trust Me.

Credits: Ps Eugene S.; I Kissed Dating Goodbye

2007-11-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

Hey there. :)
It's BLOGTHINGS again.
Boredom is eating away my life I tell you.
HOMEWORK, HOMEWORK, HOMEWORK.
RAHHH, RAHHH, RAHHH.
Maths and english are pretty fine, but CHINESE?!?!
RAHHHH!!!!
Can I just say my dog ate my homework?
PRETTY PLEASSSEEE???
Yeah right. Fat Hope. ):

Oh well...

You Are Banana Pocky

Your attitude: fun and lighthearted

Unique and unforgettable

You are cutie everyone falls for

What Flavor Pocky Are You?

What Your Handwriting Says About You

You are highly energetic. You are a passionate, intense, vigorous person.

You are somewhat outgoing, but you're not a natural extrovert. You think first before you act. You tend to be independent, rational, and logical.

You are balanced and grounded. You know how to get along well with others.

You need a bit of space in your life, but you're not a recluse. You expect people to give you a small amount of privacy, and you respect their privacy as well.

You are somewhat traditional, but you are also open to change. You listen to your head and your heart.

You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous.

What Does Your Handwriting Say About You?

Your Social Anxiety Level: 40%

You have low social anxiety.

Of course very unfamiliar or strange situations make you uncomfortable.

But you can pull through and handle almost any social occasion with grace.

Are You Socially Anxious?

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have low extroversion.
You are quiet and reserved in most social situations.
A low key, laid back lifestyle is important to you.
You tend to bond slowly, over time, with one or two people.

Conscientiousness:

You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:

You have medium agreeableness.
You're generally a friendly and trusting person.
But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism.
You get along well with others, as long as they play fair.

Neuroticism:

You have high neuroticism.
It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed.
You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully.
You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is medium.
You are generally broad minded when it come to new things.
But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it.
You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.

Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.

You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.

Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.

In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.

Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.

You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

2007-11-02T01:12:00.000-07:00

You Are 21 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You

You are a giving soul. Way too giving in fact. You often get stuck doing the dirty work that no one else will do.

You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style.

You have the perfect blend of confidence and class. You're proud of who you are - but you don't broadcast it.

In relationships, you tend to be very romantic and demanding. You'll treat your partner like gold, but you expect a lot in return.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoyourbathroomhabitssayaboutyouquiz/">What Do Your Bathroom Habits Say About You?

You Are Lemon Meringue Pie

You're the perfect combo of sassy and sweet
Those who like you have well refined tastes

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofpieareyouquiz/">What Kind of Pie Are You?

You Are an Afternoon Person

You can find energy any time of the day ... or night!
You prefer to be out and about when most other people are.
Very early mornings or very late nights aren't really your thing.
You're practically solar powered, and the afternoon is when do best.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouamorningpersonornightpersonquiz/">Are You a Morning Person or Night Person?

You Are a Purple Crayon

Your world is colored in dreamy, divine, and classy colors.
You hold yourself to a sky high standard, and you are always graceful.
People envy, idolize, and copy you without realizing it. You are an icon for those who know you.
And while it is hard to be a perfectionist, rest assured it's paying off!

Your color wheel opposite is yellow. While yellow people may be wise, they lack the manners and class needed to impress you.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorcrayonareyouquiz/">What Color Crayon Are You?

You Are 56% Lady

You're part lady, part modern woman.
Etiquette is important to you, but you brush aside rules that are outdated or silly.

http://www.blogthings.com/areyoualadyquiz/">Are You A Lady?

You Are 4: The Individualist

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.

You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

At Your Best: You are inspired, artistic, and introspective. You know what you're thinking, and you can communicate it well.

At Your Worst: You are melancholy, alienated, and withdrawn.

Your Fixation: Envy

Your Primary Fear: To have no identity

Your Primary Desire: To find yourself

Other Number 4's: Alanis Morisette, Johnny Depp, J.D. Salinger, Jim Morrison, and Anne Rice.

http://www.blogthings.com/whatnumberareyouquiz/">What Number Are You?

You Are Rock

Powerful and overbearing, you intimidate people with your presence.

People know they can't push you around, and they respect that.

Deep down, you are calm, confident, and unmovable.

You take everything pretty seriously, and you think deeply about all aspects of your life.

You tend to feel smothered by paper people.

You don't mind crushing the spirit of a scissors person.

When you fight, you: Use all of your strength

If someone makes you mad: You're likely to throw something at them

Are You Rock, Paper, or Scissors?

Eh? But I don't throw stuff when I'm angry, I cry. HAHA! :D

You Are a Brownie

Decadent and intense, you aren't for the weakhearted.

Those who can deal with your strong flavor find out how sweet you really are.

What Dessert Are You Most Like?

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is calm, relaxing, and pretty much what you want. And it's something you've been anticipating for a while now.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

There's Not a Violent Bone in Your Body

You're cool and collected, even when someone really gets under your skin.

And while you don't blow up when you're angry, you know how to express your anger calmly.

You don't bottle emotions up or let them get out of control. For you, violence would never be an option.

Could You Be Violent?

Yes. This is what boredom does to you! xD

2007-10-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

If you're wondering why I deleted 'bestie' from your link, it's not because you deleted it from my link. I don't play these kind of games to make you feel hurt and angry. Neither do I play these games to make you feel guilty or to get back at you. I won't ever do that. Never. I promised myself I won't have any best friends for the rest of my life. So yes. That's the reason. I guess it was just a title we gave ourselves. What G told me is true. We find best friends so that we feel secure, so that we'll never have to face lonliness during breaks. But I've pondered a lot on what she said. Only God will be the one who will stand by me throughout the seasons. Even when I'm old and frail, He'll never leave me nor forsake me. Finding a best friend on this Earth only led me to greater disappointments. I mean, everyone's human right? It's expected that one day or another we'll fall below each expectations. So please do not misunderstand me alright?

2007-10-27T05:48:00.000-07:00

Moving on and meeting new people

Seems like the most interesting thing

New buddies, new classmates

A whole new world to explore

At first, tears never came and overflowed

All there was was excitement

Laughter, amazement and gladness

For our final year together is about to be uncovered

But during the last days, things changed.

Memories and good times of the past shone,

Clouded our minds as we thought of leaving

While all the emotions altogether brewed.

All of a sudden, tear-floods overflowed, unmanageable.

Rivers of crystalline tears mixed with sobs,

Reminiscing the past seemed to be hard.

To grasp the thought was unbearable.

"Why do I cry?", I asked.

I always wanted to leave, didn't I?

"Can't wait to get out of here" were my initial words

But why and why now are my questions.

Sadness creeps in and heart full of sorrow

As I sat with clouded eyes, still crying.

Nothing will be lost, I thought.

All's well. I'll look forward to tomorrow.

All of these are foolish things to say.

Foolish...fooling myself is what I'm doing.

All the friends and teachers that I've known

Cannot be replaced in any way.

Sure, new experiences will come.

But will these outshine the old ones?

Love and understanding have grown through the years.

Hard to comprehend why it's all ending.

Life goes on, they say.

But now all I want is life to be as it is.

Joy fills my heart in this place.

Nothing more to ask for, I prayed.

Goodbye...goodbye...final goodbye

In these last few days of woe and sorrow.

Tears mixed with laughter echoes in the halls

As the cover closes in the final days of this chapter.

2007-10-25T02:35:00.000-07:00

IT WAS FINALLY HERE—Anna’s wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. The small, picturesque church was crowded with friends and family.
Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a string quartet filled the air. Anna walked down the aisle toward David. Joy surged within her. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned toward the altar.
But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of their congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David’s other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna.
Anna felt her lip begin to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. “Is this some kind of joke?” she whispered to David.
“I’m…I’m sorry, Anna,” he said, staring at the floor.
“Who are these girls, David? What is going on?” she gasped.
“They’re girls from my past,” he answered sadly. “Anna, they don’t mean anything to me now…but I’ve given part of my heart to each of them.”
“I thought your heart was mine,” she said.
“It is, it is,” he pleaded. “Everything that’s left is yours.”
A tear rolled down Anna’s cheek. Then she woke up.

How many men could line up next to me on my wedding day?

How many times have I given my heart away in short-term relationships?

Will I have anything left to give my husband?

2007-10-11T22:22:00.000-07:00

She saw it all, she knew what tomorrow held.
But she blindfolded herself intentionally with all those yesteryears,
Letting out every bit of light from her world.
And all I could do was watch from afar,
Cos she didn't want me anywhere nearer than a mile.

She threw away her innocence,
She threw away her purity,
like a white carnation left to wither on the street.
It left me to wonder, did she ever regret?
Did she even remember that she'll never have it back?

Then one day, he packed his bags, leaving no word when he left.
She went around sobbing, telling her story.
Hoping to get some pity and maybe a few "I'm sorry".
But did she remember, did she forget?
She had made that choice, she had taken her stand.

Nothing left for me to do, nothing left for me to say.
Now, only God could save.
"Oh Lord, open her eyes, and give her a brand new start."
This was the prayer I prayed,
And the cry of my heart.

Months after months passed.
Still, nothing happened,
And my patience was wearing thin.
Then on the night of Christmas Eve,
I saw her at the altar, kneeling at Your feet.

She whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks,
"All this time, I've turned away,
All this time, I've strayed from Your way.
Bring me back to the cross, where Your love and mercy flows so freely,
Forgive me, would you please?"

Like a prisoner released from all his crimes,
Like a melody to a broken rhyme.
How her joy could arise from agony,
Her penalty, erased from memory,
Undeservingly set free.

Then out of the corner of my eye,
A ray of light streaming through the crack of night.
No more guilt, no more hurt,
No more darkness, no more pain.
Like sunshine after rain.

[7th paragraph adapted from 'The Unreasonable Trade', I wrote the rest. :)]

She knows, yet she doesn't.
Her hurts and her love,
They fight, inside of her,
Raging through her mind.
As they fight, like a jury,
She just can't sit on the fence.

2007-10-11T06:21:00.000-07:00

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks Yours

Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause

As I walk from earth into eternity

2007-10-11T05:52:00.000-07:00

I halted at the crossroad.

Just which way should I go?

What if this road leads to nowhere,

Or maybe a crash and burn?

Oh Lord forgive me, for ever doubting You.

For forgetting that You had always been there,

Carrying me all the way through.

Forgive me Lord, for getting so caught up with my thoughts and feelings,

For forgetting that although she wasn't there anymore,

I hadn't lost You too.

Give me the strength to carry through,

Help me to forgive as You would too.

Lord, I don't want to do this with me in mind,

But instead, I want to do this for You.

2007-10-08T06:04:00.000-07:00

Solitude is what I need now.

'Mister Brightside is dead. For now, that is.

2007-09-30T23:10:00.000-07:00

It is not a human right
To stare not fight while broken nations dream

Open up our eyes, so blind

That we might find the mercy for the need

Hey now

Fill our hearts with your compassion

Hey now

As we hold to our confession

It is not too far a cry
Too much to try to help the least of these

Politicians should not decide if we should rise

And be your hands and feet

Singing... Hey now

Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey now

As we hold to our confession

Whoa-oo-ooh

God, be their solution

Whoa-oo-ooh

We will be your hands and be your feet

Yeah Yeah

Higher than our circumstance

You promise and your love for all to see

Higher than our protest lines and dollar signs

Your love is all we need

Hey now

Fill our hearts with your compassion

Hey now

As we hold to our confession

Whoa-oo-ooh

God, be their solution

Whoa-oo-ooh

We will be your hands and be your feet

Whoa-oo-ooh
God, be their solution

Whoa-oo-ooh

We will be your hands and be your feet
Whoa Yeah

Only you can mend the broken heart

And cause the blind to see

You erase complete the sinner's past

And set the captives free

Only you can take the widow's cry

And cause the heart to see

Be the Father to the fatherless

Our Saviour and our King

We will be your hands

We will be your feet

We will run this race for the least of these

In the darkest place we will be your light,

We will be your light

We will be your hands

We will be your feet

We will run this race for the least of these

In the darkest place we will be your light,

We will be your light

Whoa-oo-ooh
God, be their solution

Whoa-oo-ooh

We will be your hands and be your feet

Whoa-oo-ooh

God, be their solution

Whoa-oo-ooh

We will be your hands and be your feet

We will run

With the solution

We will run

With the solution

We will be your hands

We will be your feet

We will run this race for the least of these

In the darkest place we will be your light,

We will be your light

2007-09-27T05:29:00.000-07:00

Lord, I've so often wondered,

why peole have to know pain,

Why, when they need the sunshine,

do You often send them the rain?

I've tried so hard to perceive it,

why things happen the way that they do,

That I've often felt so hopeless,

frustrated and furious, too.

But somehow I've come to realise,

at last I finally can see,

That You have given me my life,

and how I live it is all up to me.

So You can't be blamed for my sorrow,

You can't be blamed for my pain,

And I need to stop hoping for sunshine,

and instead see the beauty of rain.

For someday I know I might be there,

standing happily next to your side,

And I want to be worthy of Heaven,

and to leave only good things behind.

-The Beauty of Rain

2007-09-20T03:15:00.000-07:00

Your Personality Cluster is Introverted Sensing

You are:

Responsible, ethical, and trustworthy
Loyal, with a sense of roots in your community
Someone who treasures and remembers the past
Adverse to surprises and the unknown

What's" Your Personality Cluster?

Pretty true except for the part on suprises. x)

You Are Pretty Happy Being Single

You have a full, fun life. And you definitely don't need love to be content.
Of course, being single can get you down a little. Especially when you've been single for a while.
But you know how to be patient and wait for the right person. You're life is too good to settle for anything!

http://www.blogthings.com/areyouhappybeingsinglequiz/%22%3EAre You Happy Being Single?

Yayy! It's true, I'm happy as a single. :)

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are compassionate, caring, and soothing.
You like other people to depend on you...
In fact, you don't feel right unless you are helping someone out.

Underneath it all, you feel the burden of everyone's problems.
Without your guidance, you fear that many people's worlds would fall apart.
You like to feel in charge, even if it brings you a lot of stress.

What's the Part of You That No One Sees?

You Are a Boston Creme Donut

You have a tough exterior. No one wants to mess with you.

But on the inside, you're a total pushover and completely soft.

You're a traditionalist, and you don't change easily.

You're likely to eat the same doughnut every morning, and pout if it's sold out.

What Donut Are You?

CHOCOLATE! Whoohooo! xD

2007-09-17T00:55:00.000-07:00

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

http://www.blogthings.com/whattempermentareyouquiz/">What Temperment Are You?

Oh gosh. This is way too true. (:

You Are a Chocolate Chip Cookie

Traditional and conservative, most people find you comforting.
You're friendly and easy to get to know. This makes you very popular - without even trying!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofcookieareyouquiz/">What Kind of Cookie Are You?

2007-09-13T05:56:00.000-07:00

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger.
You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause.
You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you!
A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

What's" Your Blogging Personality?

Ha! So now you see why I'm not that much of a blogger! :)

2007-09-10T01:31:00.000-07:00

Oh Lord You’ve searched me
You know my way
Even when I fail You
I know You love me

Your holy presence
Surrounding me
In every season
I know You love me
I know You love me

At the cross I bow my knee
Where Your blood was shed for me
There’s no greater love than this
You have overcome the grave
Your glory fills the highest place
What can separate me now

You go before me
You shield my way
Your hand upholds me
I know You love me

You tore the veil
You made a way
When You said that it is done

And when the earth fades
Falls from my eyes
And You stand before me
I know You love me
I know You love me

2007-09-04T22:12:00.000-07:00

DEAD;
Experience- it's how we all learn, isn't it? It's sort of like a wake-up call. If God doesn't drop these suprise 'experiences' along your way, you may end up deeper in the pit. It may be too late when you realise it yourself. God gave you 'experiences' to get you back on the right track. I know it isn't easy. You're not the only one who goes through these stuff. EVERYONE goes through it too, you're not alone. I know it's hard to accept some things, but hey, there's absolutely NOTHING we can do, other than to pray and ask GOD for the strength to go through it. Like what I said, it may not seem like the best but God KNOWS it's the BEST. I read a book recently and it has fired me up for GOD. In the past, I really relied on my own strength. Studies, friendships, the choices I make, and the list goes on. Handling the latest friendship problem has REALLY REALLY worn me out. It was then that I realised that I've been relying on my own strength way TOO much. Even as I'm typing this, I'm asking God to lead me to say the stuff that He wants to say to you. Yeah, I'm pretty shocked that I'm relying on Him so much. But it's surely is a good change from the normal. I feel more relaxed. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but I know I'm making progress. It's YOUR choice whether you let HIM take control. Your choice whether you want HIM to take the wheel.

2007-09-04T09:41:00.000-07:00

Take my hand. We'll walk this journey together.

2007-09-04T08:53:00.000-07:00

"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
~Matthew 11:28-30

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
~Philippians 4:6-7

You might want to memorise it. It'll may come in handy on a 'rainy' day. And then, I'm going to challenge you to really think about what it says. It doesn't just say to simply pray. It says to make supplications, which means to really beat on God's door. And then it also says to thank God. And I've come to believe that means we need to thank Him even before we see the answers to our prayers. Yes, I know I'm not perfect at totally trusting God. Even if it doesn't turn out the way we hoped it would, let's trust God that He's doing it for OUR good and He only wants what's BEST for us. I, too, need to learn this.

EDITED

2007-09-03T01:08:00.000-07:00

One night, a man had a dream.
He dreamt that he was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Scenes from his life flashed across the sky
And he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,
One belonging to him and the other to the Lord.
When the last scene of his life had flashed before him,
He recalled that at the lowest and saddest times of his life
There was only one set of footprints.
Dismayed, he asked, "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,
you'd walk with me all the way.I don't understand why, when I needed you most,you would leave me."
The Lord replied, "My precious child. I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering when you saw only one set of footprints...
THAT WAS WHEN I CARRIED YOU."

2007-09-02T02:33:00.000-07:00

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest:

You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth.

At Your Lowest:

You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked.

In Love:

You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve.

How You're Attractive:

You are very affectionate and inspire trust.

Your Eternal Question:

"Am I Respected?"

What's Your Power Color?

2007-08-30T05:20:00.000-07:00

It won't stop if they don't stop yelling.
It's not the way of working Your problems out.
I can't stand being around this yelling,
So i'm finding my way out.

2007-08-29T02:48:00.000-07:00

I'm at loss for words.
You say one thing in my face and yet you mean another.
I guess I'll never understand who really are inside.
Forget the things we swore we meant.
It's over.

If you think it's you, it's not.
So dont think so much.

2007-08-27T05:01:00.000-07:00

Update.
If you're thinking I wanted to update on my own accord, you're WRONG.
It was Zhi Ying(she doesnt like me to spell it as "zhiying")who made me do it.
She said I very long never blog.
I was like,"HUH? Hellooo! It was only like 3 days ago lor. Like that also long meh? As if I got alot of things to talk about everyday."
Guess what she say?
She said just blog, say "hello" then "goodbye" is counted as blogging.
Worse, she said it's FUN!
I was like,"What's wrong with you lah!"
HAHA! Funneh! xD

Gracia's considering going to physics/chem!
But she actually wants to take Bio cos she want to be a psychologist.
The best part is that she said,"I want to be in the same class as oli."
Obviously I want to take physics/chem cos I seriously CANT take Bio.
Evidence 1:
I cried when I watched CAST AWAY. The part when tom hanks' foot got cut by the coral and his blood was like floating in the sea. And FYI, I was watching it in the cinema. So embarrassing lah.
Evidence 2:
Dont even mention disection or watching a video on it. There are two possibilities. One, I'll faint before the scalpel is even touched. Two, I'll end up puking on my lab partner. Now...whoever's kind enough to be my lab partner, would you please take a step forward and sign up for the auditions.
Gracia didnt exactly say it very loudly, but I could hear it.
And well, that's enough.
Aww...so sweet right! :)

Oh. I'll share with you the THOUGHT FOR THE CENTURY.
"Smile and the world will smile with you."
Inside joke.
Go figure!
HAHA!

Okay.
I guess i'll blog until here. (:
Until next time!

2007-08-24T07:52:00.000-07:00

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You's JUST what He wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are beloved,
Because there is a God!

-Russell Kelfer

2007-08-23T04:37:00.000-07:00

I was never that close to you.
You were only my good friend.
But after that day when everyone laughed, I realised how much you actually meant to me.
When everyone was laughing at you, I realised I was actually mad.
Mad at them for laughing at you, for laughing at my best friend.
I stayed there for as long as I could, to be there right beside you.
I thought that after that day I'll friendship would grow into something special.
It was something I wished for ever since the start of secondary school.
But I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part, because it never ever did come true.

Just when the exams were around the corner you hurt me deep.
You slammed my book on my table, turned your back and walked away.
I dont know what I was thinking, maybe it was my subconscious mind.
Instead of getting mad at you, the word "Thank you" was what I said.
But after a moment, it started to sink in.
I could not believe it, I didnt know what had gone wrong.
I wasnt in school the past few days and everything had gone all wrong.
You didnt even say "Hi" to me.
Yeah, it did mean alot.
Maybe you didnt really care cos anger was the only thing in your thoughts.

We called to ask you what was wrong.
You said we had left you out, you said we didnt care.
You know I'm not the kind of people who would just say "I Love You" in your face.
But I know somewhere deep in my heart, I thought and cared for you.
Maybe it wasnt enough for you, but now it's just too late.

I was actually mad at you for hurting me so much.
But when I saw you were sad after math, I swallowed my anger, I swallowed my pride and went up to you to show you I cared.
But you still didnt want to open up, and I didnt have the right to probe.
One day you were talking to me, the other you just ignored.
One day I have hope that the five of us would be back together, the other days I doubted so.

I'm really so tired of playing nice, when deep down I'm so hurt.
Even now as I'm writing this, something's stuck in my throat.
The tears running down my cheeks tell me you werent a nobody to me.
If only I could hit the rewind and replay all the memories of you and me, maybe I wont be so sad anymore.
It 's already too late to turn back time for our memories are already gone with the wind.

2007-08-05T03:42:00.000-07:00

What Olivia Means

O is for Openhearted

L is for Legendary

I is for Impressive

V is for Vigorous

I is for Insane

A is for Amorous

What Does Your Name Mean?

2007-07-29T07:13:00.000-07:00

Well..as you can see, somebody hates me.
Tagged some nasty stuff.
I have to admit that I was really, really hurt.
I mean, in my entire school life, no one ever said such mean stuff to me.
I was so sad and mad that I told my parents and ended up tearing on a public bus while on my way to a funeral.
But still I learned things.
First, I learned what it was like to be 'rejected'.
How it was so important for me to be a friend to those who had none.
I had taken for granted the love my friends showered on me.
Secondly, I learnt to count my blessings. So many people around me cared for me.
My family, my friends, just to name a few..
I was so touched.

I realised that although it was tough being nice to people who were mean to me, Jesus had went through so much more.
Indeed, His love for me and for everyone else must have been so great.
And although it looked like a really terrible thing for me, I began to see the beauty of it all.
It's something like a cross-stitch.
We as humans, see only the back of the cross-stitch from Earth.
All the mess, knots and tangles.
Not a pretty sight, I must say.
But what God sees from Heaven and what it really is, is the most beautiful picture of all.
Although it may not seem like the best at that point of time, it truly is.
I told God all my hurts, how mad I was at this person.
Somehow, I felt relieved after crying and telling all my cares to God.
It was like a huge burden had been lifted off of me.
So here am I, writing this post to encourage all of you who are also going through rough patches in your life.
God is always there.
He's the one that you can always count on when everybody else fails you. :)
I would like to leave you with a song.
The lyrics are beautiful.

"God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways
We cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With Love and Strength
For each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way"

2007-07-27T20:08:00.000-07:00

A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

- From the Inside Out

2007-07-27T05:36:00.000-07:00

You are White Chocolate

You are White ChocolateYou are sweet, caring, and truly very innocent.Whether your naive ways are a bit of act or not, people like to take care of you.You are a quiet flirt, and your power is often underestimated!

iblical http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofchocolateareyouquiz/">What Kind of Chocolate Are You?

I think everything is rather accurate except the flirting part.
That is like WAY WRONG. x)

You Are a Ring Finger

You are romantic, expressive, and hopeful. You see the best in everything.You are very artistic, and you see the world as your canvas. You are also drawn to the written word.Inventive and unique, you are often away in your own inner world.
You get along well with: The Pinky
Stay away from: The Index Finger

http://www.blogthings.com/whatfingerareyouquiz/">What Finger Are You?

You Are a Good Friend Because You're Loyal

You stick with your friends no matter what, even if you feel like they're doing the wrong thing.
You believe in letting people figure out their own path in life. It's not your place to interfere.

And part of your loyalty means that you'll do a lot for your friends. You definitely go the extra mile.
You'll even do great things for friends without them asking. After all, that's what friendship is all about.

You are truly a friend for life. And you have friends you've known since you were a kid.
Your friends can count on you to do a favor, remember a birthday, or just be there to listen.

Your friends need you most when: They can't turn to anyone else

You really can't be friends with: Fickle people who change friends quickly

Your friendship quote: "Friendship doubles your joys, and divides your sorrows."

What Makes You a Good Friend?

2007-07-27T05:23:00.000-07:00

HEY A2 PEEPS!

Since we couldn't get enough sizes for the class shirt, we decided to choose another design.

And uh...we decided to skip the voting part cos it was far too chaotic.

After all, you all wanted the class shirt asap right?

So hope you all are fine with our decision.

The shirt will be here by next week.
Yupps.

The chosen design is the the 3rd photo, the one in the middle.

We had to go with white because it's a neutral colour and well, we felt it's the nicest.

So we wont be using gold font.

And you can have your $2 back!

Yayy! xD

We'll return your $2 when we hand out the shirts alright?

Ok, that's about it. :)

2007-07-15T02:44:00.000-07:00

You Should Be A Poet

You craft words well, in creative and unexpected ways.
And you have a great talent for evoking beautiful imagery...
Or describing the most intense heartbreak ever.
You're already naturally a poet, even if you've never written a poem.

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core.
You often find yourself on the outside looking in.
Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works.

You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.
And while this may not seem big, it can be.
It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.
You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

2007-06-30T05:26:00.000-07:00

2-2B peeps;
We couldnt decide so we decided to vote.
Remember, WE WILL GO WITH THE MAJORITY.
RULES:
1. Each person can only vote ONCE. Dont be greedy! xD
2. DON'T vote by tagging. Sms your vote to my handphone.
3. All votes to be in by MONDAY, 8pm. * LATE VOTES WILL NOT BE COUNTED.

My comments on the ORANGE shirt;
Personally, I prefer the orange shirt cos it has a tinge of orange which makes it unique.
The neckline is smaller, which is a good thing just in case you need to bend down.

My comments on the WHITE shirt;
White's a more neutral colour.
The neckline is broader, more comfortable.

Finally an update. :)

I've been lazy to blog this few days, so yeah.

It back to school.
Sigh.

It's the 'back to school blues'.

What do you expect? :(

Anyways, on a lighter note, we had a 3.5km run at ECP yesterday. :D

It was FUN, excluding the part where my knee was hurting like crap.
GRACIA;

Thanks so much for cheering me on the run. :)

ETHEL;

Thanks for the knee guard! Oh. And so sorry I made the hole in your knee guard bigger! HAWHAW! xD

After the run, Lumpy, ethel and me went to Queensway to look for class shirt.

Walked in and out of so many shirt printing shops to get the best price.

We spent so many hours there lah!

Tell you a secret, Eth's really brave(or you could say thick-skinned).

She can really bargain!

We shopped till we drop.

I mean literally.

The bus and train ride home was the best! :D

On the bus, we met with this crazy(eth says so) indian guy.

Eth and me were sitting together.

I was sitting inside and eth, outside.

He came to us and started mumbling and pointing his finger at us.

I was like 'HUH?'.

So he repeated himself.

But no, it didnt help a wee bit cos he was still mumbling. xD

Bad move.

Eth started to freak out and she moved in the seat, squeezing poor me to the window.

I couldn't understand what he was saying so I concluded that he wanted to share seat with us.

I cant imagine why I thought of that! xD

I mean imagine me, eth and that indian guy sharing seat!

HILARIOUS! XDD

Then I looked at Lumpy and amazingly, SHE COULD COMPREHEND THAT GUY'S GIBBERISH!

She told us that he wanted one dollar.

Eth immediately said she didnt have a dollar and placed her bag between herself and that man like some kind of protective shield.

Seriously, I've never seen Eth so scared before.

One moment, she can be so thick-skinned and bargain for the best price, and the next she can be so scared of an indian man asking for a dollar!

It's just so BIZZARE! x)

She told us that was because there are many crazy people in bishan area.

She got chased by a mad women with an umbrella before!

Can you believe that?!?!

We were so distracted that we forgot to count the number of stops.

So we just alighted.

Turns out that we alighted 2 stops berfore the train station!

HA!

And we had to walk.
DOUBLE HA!

At the train station, Lumpy, eth and me were having a laughing fit.

Then, TO MY UTTER HORROR, I realised that I was beginning to laugh like ethel!

I tried to stop myself but I ended up laughing even louder! xD

So in conclusion, it was a rather eventful day yesterday. :))

2007-06-14T05:41:00.000-07:00

For one second our eyes met

And I met that with a question,

I don't know where I'm going

Just walking on aimlessly.

I've been a liar and I'll never amount to be that kind of person You deserve to worship You.

But You still chose to love me when I was so unlovely.

You said You'll never dwell on what I did but what I do.

Oh...Your Unconditional Love I'll never understand.

But that, I'll choose to accept.

Your First Step,

Your last breath.

Eveything's been planned.

The questions and answers you'll never really understand.

I hold on but let go.

Giving you room to breathe,

But always reminding you that I'll always be around,

Even when you frown.

Remembering the best things were never mine to keep.

Starting at the ending,

Never from the Beginning to the Ending.

You won't break while Youre bending.

Been there and back again.

Even when the music ends.

Trust Me, I know all.

Lean on Me, I'll be there when you fall.

Your life is a flashback.

A question.

A photograph.

A statement

A story

A struggle

A chance of survival.

A chance to laugh

Because if You don't laugh,

You'll cry.

A last crescendo when You die.

So hit the rewind and listen.

It's the playback.

The soundtrack to Your life.

Yes Charity, it's emo talk again. :)

2007-06-13T05:03:00.000-07:00

I guess you weren't who I thought you were.
I believed everything you told me.
But you played love like it was a game.
Was it pure innocence or plain stupidity?
I guess it doesnt matter now.
Forget the things we swore we meant.

PLANETSHAKERS!

2007-06-10T21:28:00.001-07:00

I LOVE JUMP AROUND! :) MAKES ME WANNA GET UP AND DANCE!
ENJOY!

2007-06-10T06:49:00.000-07:00

HELLOBELLOWELLO!!! :D
OLIVIA(AH OLI) HERE!
I just came back from CONFIDENT COMMUNICATOR course at MC!
Thought I'll blog about it while I still have the memories in my brain.
If not they'll just fly out of my brain when I sleep.
HAWHAW!
Quite a number of interesting things happened.
It's STORY TIME! xD!

DAY 1
Things were rather dull on the 1st day.
New faces, new team, new trainers.
Everyone was like in the 'do I really have to be here?' kind of mood.
So yeah.
3 hours passed super S L O W L Y.

DAY 2
Things did brighten up a little.
That's a good thing since it was gonna be 9 hours long.
We were forced by our trainers to be in boy-girl pair.
Worse, we had to talk for quite long.
About ourselves and...other stuff(?)
I was like ' OMG. Today's gonna be a LOOONNNGGG day.'
But I soon got used to it.
Kinda. :x
9 hours sitting cross-legged on the floor was TERRIBLE for me.
My knees were hurting like crap. :(
I was practically sweating cold sweat.
Stupid injury. :(
Played Queen and servant.
I was QUEEN!
HAWHAW! x)

DAY 3 (Final Day)
Things were BRIGHT and SUNNY! :D
Started off with blow wind blow, followed by FRUIT SALAD.
They're quite similar.
Then came the bad part.
Me and this small guy(no offence) were like 'snatching' for a place.
Ran towards the same spot.
Couldnt put on the brakes fast enough.
He STEPPED on my foot!
He's quite heavy, or should I say has strong feet(?), for his size.
He landed on my old injury!
Yeah. So I think I sprained it AGAIN.
It was so freaking painful, I felt like sitting out of the game.
But I thought I should just continue.
Didnt want to miss out on the fun. :D
My foot still hurts. :(
Yes, I know.
Injuries love me.
UNFORTUNATELY, I dont exactly like them. :/
Was chosen to act 'Queen and Slave' in front of the others and parents.
Almost. Lack of time, so it was cancelled.
THANK GOD!
I did that 3 times.
I was running out of ideas.
Kept repeating about MILO DINOSAUR.
At the end, there was this slideshow on the past 3 days.
And my UNGLAM picture was shown to 200+ people!
AHHHHH!!!!
Haha.
Like anyone would remember.
I hope not. :))
Oh yeah.
I got a new name.
"STEFANIE/STEPHANIE!"
Inside joke.
If you werent there, I doubt you'll understand!
HAHAHA!

Derek;
If you happen to be reading my blog...
Whatever you said about me and MY MILO DINOSAUR,
MILO DINASAUR's still my ONE AND ONLY LOVE! <3

HOMIES in SNYDER! :D

Girls:
EUNICE;
NICE girl. Rather quiet. But as they say, you gotta be a friend to that somebody first!
APRIL;
She may look rather 'pai gia' on the outside but yeah, SHE'S REALLY SWEET!
HUI MIN;
Sleepyhead! :) You shouldnt stress yourself over that debate. See, it's OVER now! :)
XIN HUI;
SUPER CHEERFUL! xD! Love your jacket! P.S She's REALLY SMART! From VJC (my dream school)!
GRACE;
LOVELY GIRL but a little evil lah. She knew that I was from the same school as her but she chose to keep SILENT. Made me feel so malu-ated when I asked her what school she was from. Worse still, we're in the same level! Made me feel so guilty that I didnt even know her. HAHA. But it was still nice of her to notice me in like about 350 sec 2s. So...in conclusion, she's a nice person. Yayy! x)
XIU MING;
SUPER NICE! Always smiling! :)
HUI QIN;
COOL HAIR! HAHA. :D

Guys:
The most outstanding out of all... DRUMROLLLL!
DEREK;
REALLY spontaneous. REALLY friendly. But he seems to have something against me and my MILO DINOSAUR! Has a BRACES SMILE! Hmmm...oh yes. He's a REALLY TALENTED SWIMMER. Actually went to Vietnam(i think) and represented S'pore in some swimming competition. Unfortunately, he had FOOD-POISONING the day before. xD! He's rather FUNNEH! I thought he was at least in JC 1(turns out he's sec 4) and he thought I was sec 4. I actually get that quite alot, so it didnt really matter.
TIMOTHY;
Has a REALLY LOUD voice. REALLY TALLLL. Overall, he's rather nice. :) Oh. HE'S A GREAT SLAVE! MUAHAHAHAHA! Thought he was like 17. Turns out he's 15. OHKAYYYY. That was a rather bad estimation on my part.
SMALL GUY(cant remember his name);
Youngest there I think. Really quiet. Could open up a little bit more yepp? :) oh and, I FORGIVE YOU FOR STEPPING ON MY FOOT! X)

*Sorry, I couldnt remember all of you. If I left you out, you could tell me and I'll try to remember. :)

LOVE ALL MY HOMIES! <3

Time check: 11:37pm
It's been a LOOONNNGG day.
Now comes my favourite part.
BEDTIME! xD

2007-06-09T05:40:00.000-07:00

A DEDICATION TO B;

I miss you.

I want to hear you strum the guitar again.

Sing to me one more time.

Just once.
That's all I ask.

Will you?

Will update soon.

Come read yeah?

Ha.

Look who's talking. xD

' Unwritten words.

- I love you. I really do.

2007-06-04T02:48:00.000-07:00

I'm still waiting by the place where we met;

' Under my umbrella

2007-05-23T07:03:00.000-07:00

LOVE;

It ain't as easy as it spells.

Tell me why do you run

You seemed so ashamed

Bruised and broken

Thought if i figured out

The mess you've made

That i'd leave

But anywhere you are

Is never to far away

There's freedom from your skys

The mistakes that you've made..forgiving

The memories erased

Maybe thats the beauty of grace

Tell me what is love

I'll never hold you too

The things you make up

Damn you say you want new life

In my arms there's mercy

Anywhere you are

Is never to far away

There's freedom from your skys

The mistakes that you've made..forgiving

Anywhere you are

Is never to far away

There's freedom from your skys

All the pain you have

Anywhere you are

Is never to far away

There's freedom from your skys

Anywhere you are

Is never to far away

There's freedom from your skys

Anywhere you are

Is never too far away

There's freedom from your skys

The mistakes that you've made..forgiving

Anywhere you are

Is never too far away

There's freedom from your skys

~ The Beauty of Grace

Another sinking sun

And I am filled with worry

With every morning comes

Uncharted territory

Am I too young and restless

To live the way the fearless do?

I think it’s time I start to...

Live

Unafraid of tomorrow

Live

Knowing You’re in control

Live

This life wasn’t made to waste away

I wanna live

Take my concerns and cares

Give me new revival

I may be breathin’ air

But You’re my soul survival

I wanna know the freedom

That can only come from You

I’m so tired of waiting

There’s no more time to lose

So give me strength to move

To live

~ Live