always.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

If you're wondering why I deleted 'bestie' from your link, it's not because you deleted it from my link. I don't play these kind of games to make you feel hurt and angry. Neither do I play these games to make you feel guilty or to get back at you. I won't ever do that. Never. I promised myself I won't have any best friends for the rest of my life. So yes. That's the reason. I guess it was just a title we gave ourselves. What G told me is true. We find best friends so that we feel secure, so that we'll never have to face lonliness during breaks. But I've pondered a lot on what she said. Only God will be the one who will stand by me throughout the seasons. Even when I'm old and frail, He'll never leave me nor forsake me. Finding a best friend on this Earth only led me to greater disappointments. I mean, everyone's human right? It's expected that one day or another we'll fall below each expectations. So please do not misunderstand me alright?

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Moving on and meeting new people

Seems like the most interesting thing

New buddies, new classmates

A whole new world to explore

At first, tears never came and overflowed

All there was was excitement

Laughter, amazement and gladness

For our final year together is about to be uncovered

But during the last days, things changed.

Memories and good times of the past shone,

Clouded our minds as we thought of leaving

While all the emotions altogether brewed.

All of a sudden, tear-floods overflowed, unmanageable.

Rivers of crystalline tears mixed with sobs,

Reminiscing the past seemed to be hard.

To grasp the thought was unbearable.

"Why do I cry?", I asked.

I always wanted to leave, didn't I?

"Can't wait to get out of here" were my initial words

But why and why now are my questions.

Sadness creeps in and heart full of sorrow

As I sat with clouded eyes, still crying.

Nothing will be lost, I thought.

All's well. I'll look forward to tomorrow.

All of these are foolish things to say.

Foolish...fooling myself is what I'm doing.

All the friends and teachers that I've known

Cannot be replaced in any way.

Sure, new experiences will come.

But will these outshine the old ones?

Love and understanding have grown through the years.

Hard to comprehend why it's all ending.

Life goes on, they say.

But now all I want is life to be as it is.

Joy fills my heart in this place.

Nothing more to ask for, I prayed.

Goodbye...goodbye...final goodbye

In these last few days of woe and sorrow.

Tears mixed with laughter echoes in the halls

As the cover closes in the final days of this chapter.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

IT WAS FINALLY HERE—Anna’s wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. The small, picturesque church was crowded with friends and family.
Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a string quartet filled the air. Anna walked down the aisle toward David. Joy surged within her. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned toward the altar.
But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of their congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David’s other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna.
Anna felt her lip begin to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. “Is this some kind of joke?” she whispered to David.
“I’m…I’m sorry, Anna,” he said, staring at the floor.
“Who are these girls, David? What is going on?” she gasped.
“They’re girls from my past,” he answered sadly. “Anna, they don’t mean anything to me now…but I’ve given part of my heart to each of them.”
“I thought your heart was mine,” she said.
“It is, it is,” he pleaded. “Everything that’s left is yours.”
A tear rolled down Anna’s cheek. Then she woke up.

How many men could line up next to me on my wedding day?

How many times have I given my heart away in short-term relationships?

Will I have anything left to give my husband?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

She saw it all, she knew what tomorrow held.
But she blindfolded herself intentionally with all those yesteryears,
Letting out every bit of light from her world.
And all I could do was watch from afar,
Cos she didn't want me anywhere nearer than a mile.

She threw away her innocence,
She threw away her purity,
like a white carnation left to wither on the street.
It left me to wonder, did she ever regret?
Did she even remember that she'll never have it back?

Then one day, he packed his bags, leaving no word when he left.
She went around sobbing, telling her story.
Hoping to get some pity and maybe a few "I'm sorry".
But did she remember, did she forget?
She had made that choice, she had taken her stand.

Nothing left for me to do, nothing left for me to say.
Now, only God could save.
"Oh Lord, open her eyes, and give her a brand new start."
This was the prayer I prayed,
And the cry of my heart.

Months after months passed.
Still, nothing happened,
And my patience was wearing thin.
Then on the night of Christmas Eve,
I saw her at the altar, kneeling at Your feet.

She whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks,
"All this time, I've turned away,
All this time, I've strayed from Your way.
Bring me back to the cross, where Your love and mercy flows so freely,
Forgive me, would you please?"

Like a prisoner released from all his crimes,
Like a melody to a broken rhyme.
How her joy could arise from agony,
Her penalty, erased from memory,
Undeservingly set free.

Then out of the corner of my eye,
A ray of light streaming through the crack of night.
No more guilt, no more hurt,
No more darkness, no more pain.
Like sunshine after rain.

[7th paragraph adapted from 'The Unreasonable Trade', I wrote the rest. :)]

She knows, yet she doesn't.
Her hurts and her love,
They fight, inside of her,
Raging through her mind.
As they fight, like a jury,
She just can't sit on the fence.

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like You have loved me

Break my heart from what breaks Yours

Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause

As I walk from earth into eternity

I halted at the crossroad.

Just which way should I go?

What if this road leads to nowhere,

Or maybe a crash and burn?

Oh Lord forgive me, for ever doubting You.

For forgetting that You had always been there,

Carrying me all the way through.

Forgive me Lord, for getting so caught up with my thoughts and feelings,

For forgetting that although she wasn't there anymore,

I hadn't lost You too.

Give me the strength to carry through,

Help me to forgive as You would too.

Lord, I don't want to do this with me in mind,

But instead, I want to do this for You.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Solitude is what I need now.

'Mister Brightside is dead. For now, that is.


olivia ♥ 250393' Everything I claim mine is yours, not a single thing on Earth did I deserve. The expressions and emotions from the depths of my heart. Take this life, I want to live for you. Let my life be a testimony- that speaks of the things that You've done for me. My life charted out in Your hands, written out before a single day had passed. and novels are my favorite things. You can mail me at: oliviansy@hotmail.com Penelope Charity Jeannica Valerie Janice Yoong Debbie Ethel Zhi Ying DEAREST;SIS Gracia Alicia YingQi Reaiah Clara Traci Jiahui Judaxil Shariel Hui Ying Stephanie Rachel Claudia Marissa May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 March 2009 June 2009 Bituwin - template Dementee - image Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls. When God Ran - Better Days	Tuesday, October 30, 2007 If you're wondering why I deleted 'bestie' from your link, it's not because you deleted it from my link. I don't play these kind of games to make you feel hurt and angry. Neither do I play these games to make you feel guilty or to get back at you. I won't ever do that. Never. I promised myself I won't have any best friends for the rest of my life. So yes. That's the reason. I guess it was just a title we gave ourselves. What G told me is true. We find best friends so that we feel secure, so that we'll never have to face lonliness during breaks. But I've pondered a lot on what she said. Only God will be the one who will stand by me throughout the seasons. Even when I'm old and frail, He'll never leave me nor forsake me. Finding a best friend on this Earth only led me to greater disappointments. I mean, everyone's human right? It's expected that one day or another we'll fall below each expectations. So please do not misunderstand me alright? 11:11 PM · Saturday, October 27, 2007 Moving on and meeting new people Seems like the most interesting thing New buddies, new classmates A whole new world to explore At first, tears never came and overflowed All there was was excitement Laughter, amazement and gladness For our final year together is about to be uncovered But during the last days, things changed. Memories and good times of the past shone, Clouded our minds as we thought of leaving While all the emotions altogether brewed. All of a sudden, tear-floods overflowed, unmanageable. Rivers of crystalline tears mixed with sobs, Reminiscing the past seemed to be hard. To grasp the thought was unbearable. "Why do I cry?", I asked. I always wanted to leave, didn't I? "Can't wait to get out of here" were my initial words But why and why now are my questions. Sadness creeps in and heart full of sorrow As I sat with clouded eyes, still crying. Nothing will be lost, I thought. All's well. I'll look forward to tomorrow. All of these are foolish things to say. Foolish...fooling myself is what I'm doing. All the friends and teachers that I've known Cannot be replaced in any way. Sure, new experiences will come. But will these outshine the old ones? Love and understanding have grown through the years. Hard to comprehend why it's all ending. Life goes on, they say. But now all I want is life to be as it is. Joy fills my heart in this place. Nothing more to ask for, I prayed. Goodbye...goodbye...final goodbye In these last few days of woe and sorrow. Tears mixed with laughter echoes in the halls As the cover closes in the final days of this chapter. 5:48 AM · Thursday, October 25, 2007 IT WAS FINALLY HERE—Anna’s wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. The small, picturesque church was crowded with friends and family. Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a string quartet filled the air. Anna walked down the aisle toward David. Joy surged within her. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned toward the altar. But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of their congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David’s other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna. Anna felt her lip begin to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. “Is this some kind of joke?” she whispered to David. “I’m…I’m sorry, Anna,” he said, staring at the floor. “Who are these girls, David? What is going on?” she gasped. “They’re girls from my past,” he answered sadly. “Anna, they don’t mean anything to me now…but I’ve given part of my heart to each of them.” “I thought your heart was mine,” she said. “It is, it is,” he pleaded. “Everything that’s left is yours.” A tear rolled down Anna’s cheek. Then she woke up. How many men could line up next to me on my wedding day? How many times have I given my heart away in short-term relationships? Will I have anything left to give my husband? 2:35 AM · Thursday, October 11, 2007 She saw it all, she knew what tomorrow held. But she blindfolded herself intentionally with all those yesteryears, Letting out every bit of light from her world. And all I could do was watch from afar, Cos she didn't want me anywhere nearer than a mile. She threw away her innocence, She threw away her purity, like a white carnation left to wither on the street. It left me to wonder, did she ever regret? Did she even remember that she'll never have it back? Then one day, he packed his bags, leaving no word when he left. She went around sobbing, telling her story. Hoping to get some pity and maybe a few "I'm sorry". But did she remember, did she forget? She had made that choice, she had taken her stand. Nothing left for me to do, nothing left for me to say. Now, only God could save. "Oh Lord, open her eyes, and give her a brand new start." This was the prayer I prayed, And the cry of my heart. Months after months passed. Still, nothing happened, And my patience was wearing thin. Then on the night of Christmas Eve, I saw her at the altar, kneeling at Your feet. She whispered as tears rolled down her cheeks, "All this time, I've turned away, All this time, I've strayed from Your way. Bring me back to the cross, where Your love and mercy flows so freely, Forgive me, would you please?" Like a prisoner released from all his crimes, Like a melody to a broken rhyme. How her joy could arise from agony, Her penalty, erased from memory, Undeservingly set free. Then out of the corner of my eye, A ray of light streaming through the crack of night. No more guilt, no more hurt, No more darkness, no more pain. Like sunshine after rain. [7th paragraph adapted from 'The Unreasonable Trade', I wrote the rest. :)] - She knows, yet she doesn't. Her hurts and her love, They fight, inside of her, Raging through her mind. As they fight, like a jury, She just can't sit on the fence. 10:22 PM · Heal my heart and make it clean Open up my eyes to the things unseen Show me how to love like You have loved me Break my heart from what breaks Yours Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause As I walk from earth into eternity 6:21 AM · I halted at the crossroad. Just which way should I go? What if this road leads to nowhere, Or maybe a crash and burn? Oh Lord forgive me, for ever doubting You. For forgetting that You had always been there, Carrying me all the way through. Forgive me Lord, for getting so caught up with my thoughts and feelings, For forgetting that although she wasn't there anymore, I hadn't lost You too. Give me the strength to carry through, Help me to forgive as You would too. Lord, I don't want to do this with me in mind, But instead, I want to do this for You. 5:52 AM · Monday, October 8, 2007 Solitude is what I need now. 'Mister Brightside is dead. For now, that is. 6:04 AM ·