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olivia ♥ 250393' Everything I claim mine is yours, not a single thing on Earth did I deserve. The expressions and emotions from the depths of my heart. Take this life, I want to live for you. Let my life be a testimony- that speaks of the things that You've done for me. My life charted out in Your hands, written out before a single day had passed. and novels are my favorite things.
Thursday, June 5, 2008

I don't know what I'm feeling now. I just feel I need somewhere to pen some thoughts down. My heart feels trapped (?) I don't know, I feel sad, just really sad. oh gosh, why are there tears now? Oh God, help me.

Recently, everywhere I turn, I see someone hurting. Somebody dies, somebody cries. I see parents fighting, how they don't know it's their children who they leave broken. How they only think about themselves, never really trying to save their marriage, for the better of their children who they claim they love most. Why? Did they not mean it when they stood before God and men, and said 'I do'? Did they forget their vow? What does the ring represent then? Girls looking for love, trusting so simply when guys tell them 'You're beautiful, I love you'. Giving up on ever finding the one got God chose for them. Not realising how they are more precious than jewels and deserve a prince and not just the first frog that comes along. Just to fit in, just to gain acceptance, what are they willing to do? You know as well as I do, take drugs, steal, anything. Why? Just to be the same as the rest? What happened to being special? What happened to 'I don't need their approval, I only need God's'? Why do so many chose to go their own way? God freely gives love and acceptance. Yet, why do we throw away the light, just so we can grope our way through the dark again? He paid such a high price for us. Sending His only Son, so precious, so dear to His heart just to die for us. He lived to die.

People ask 'if God truly loved us, why is there so much suffering, so much poverty?', 'If God really cared, why did this happen to me?' What can I say? I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are, but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government, to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How then, can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?

I've been thinking a lot these days, and I think it's beginning to hit me. My heart aches more and more. For the people and how God is so sad too. Everytime it rains, I look to the sky. I wonder, 'God, are you crying too? Are you hurting?' And somehow, I feel He is. I wish I could meet God now and tell him everything.

Oh Lord, I have so much to tell you.

P.S No, I'm not talking to or about anyone in particular. I 've been looking around, observing people etc. So yeah.